Pacific Rim: The Abridged Version
WARNING:THERE SHALL BE SPOILERS!!!!!! (btw, see this in reald/imax 3d, its frickin awesome) THA' DANG MOVIE, BIPCHES some guy: so we're the jagerz and we started fighting these things from another dimension when they kept kicking our buttz. we got good and kicked their buttz but they started to kick our buttz again cuz they got smarter and now the worlds screwed and my brothers dead cuz they killed him (LATER) That Black Guy From The Wire: wazzup world government The World: SCREW YOU JAGERS WE'RE F*CKED WE'RE GONNA STOP FUNDING YOU AND BUILD A MASSIVE WALL BYE BYE GO BACK TO HONG KONG WHERE YOU AND YOUR ROBOTS/CREW LIVE Wire Guy: THEY'RE NOT ROBOTS THEY ARE MECHS The World: WHO CARES (leaves him) Wire Guy: imma get Some Guy and see if he can prove him wrong (somewhere in Alaska) Some Guy: waaaaaaaah my brothers dead and im building a dumb wall :((((( News People: some monsters invaded austrailia today and ripped da massive wall apart like paper Workers: WHAT? (Wire Guy shows up) Wire Guy to Some Guy: so the wall's crap eh? Some Guy: yeah Wire Guy: wanna help me kill monsters with mechs again Some Guy: HELL YEA (They go to Hong Kong) That Redhead Asian Chick in That New Wolverine Movie:(in chinese) lol this dude looks like crap Some Guy: (somehow in chinese too) AW HELL NAW Asian Chick: …HAHAHAH IM JOKING IM WIRE GUYS ASSISSANT (Inside base) Wire Guy: (finishes off introducing pointless people) and heres your jager mate who will help control ur mech Some Guy: hey Dikish Mate: LOL IM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU LOL Some Guy: i hate him Wire Guy: K LETS TRAIN AGAIN (Later in training area) (Some Guy does well but screws up later) Asian Chick: LOL U SUCK Some Guy: okay, go against me then Asian Chick: k (kicks his butt) LOL U SUCK Some Guy: i like u now wanna be my partner? Wire Guy: NO. Dikish Mate: LOL IM DA BEST Wire Guy: …FINE (Meanwhile) Charlie from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia: lul im gonna mess with this monster brain cuz imma scientist (connects with brain) F^%# IT HURTS wait i see the monsters dimension cooooool Wire Guy: charlie go outside and find some monster black dealer named hannibal lector and get another brain Charlie: ok (leaves) Wire Guy: K GUYS TEST RUN (Later) GLaDOS: k initiating neural handshake Wire Guy: wait WTFS GOIN ON?!?!?!?? (Inside Asian Chick's mind, yes seriously) Asian Chick (as a little girl during a monster attack): waaaaaaaaaaah must destroy it with plasma cannon (actually activates jager's plasma cannon) Some Guy: calm down its only a memory ur gonna destroy tha base Some Scientist: imma shut it down (The jager shuts down) GLaDOS: no cake for the both of you Wire Guy: ASIAN CHICK UR GROUNDED GO TO UR ROOM Asian Chick: sir yes sir… (leaves) Some Guy: u cant do that shes da best Dikish Guy: NO SHE ISNT Wire Guy: SHUT UP DIKISH GUY Some Guy: i saw whats in her mind she just needs to- Wire Guy: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAW, SOMEHOW. I HELPED SAVE HER FROM THE MONSTER. (Meanwhile at Hannibal Lector's black market store) Charlie: ZOMG HANNIBAL LOOK AT ALL THIS MONSTER BODY PARTS DRGDHGFGVRGCDFFCTCSFFS Hannibal Lector: y r u here? Charlie: i need one brain for my experiment Hannibal Lector: too bad there's an attack comming now wait WHATS ON YOUR EYE?!?!?!?? Charlie: i got it from messing with a monster brain. Hannibal Lector: lol ur screwed imma go to my private bunker Charlie: wat about me Hannibal Lector: go to the public bunker or something idk (back at the base) Scientist: we got 2 incoming monsters Wire Guy: screw some guy and asian chick move out RON PERLMAN RON PERLMAN: k im fakin awesome come dikish guy Dikish Guy: k (They and 4 other losers leave to fight) (Later in the sea) (One monster kills the losers, immobilizes RON PERLMAN/Dikish Guy's jager and knocks out the base and city with a power surge attack) Scientist: we're screwed Some Guy: wait our jagers powered using a nuclear reactor give us a chance Wire Guy: fine (Some Guy and Asian Chick go out and kill the monster) RON PERLMAN: thx 4 savin us but ANOTHER MONSTERS GOING FOR THE CITY Asian Chick: k we just need to find a large freighter........ (Meanwhile in bunker) Charlie: its coming 4 me o noes Chinese Guy: ITS COMING FOR ALL OF US Charlie: NO ITS COMING FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE CUZ OF THIS EYE Everybody in the bunker: (moves away from Charlie) SACRIFICE SACRIFICE SACRIFICE (Monster destroys base) (Some Guy and Asian Chick attack the monster USING A FREIGHTER SHIP AS A STICK right before it kills Charlie) (LARGE AWESOME BATTLE INVOLVING THAT SHIP, FIST FIGHTING, FLYING, AND TWO MASSIVE SWORDS TOO AWESOME TO DESCRIBE IN WORDS, SO GO OUT AND SUPPORT THIS MOVIE BY SEEING IT IN IMAX 3D, PLEASE) TO BE CONTINUED....... Category:Random Works! Category:Red's Pages Category:Abridged Movies Category:Pacific Rim Category:Warner Bros.